It’s zen-like when I sneeze
or when I tie my shoe,
or brush my teeth
or simply laugh a certain way. . .
Whatever I have done ten thousand times --
like the scar on my eyebrow
that tells me I am me --
brands the space I occupy,
signifies that I have been here
as long as, say, that tree. . .
or like this gold earring
that I have worn since ‘92
that has become a part of my sum-total
minus all that might unglue,
keeps me married to myself. . .
Or the way I whistle all the time. . .
But this new way,
these untested qualities,
these dreams that reify and fade --
will they be remembered
if I live to be a hundred,
too old, perhaps, to tie my shoe?
Will I remember this snag,
this anxious station,
this time when all the koans were new?
How should I describe this
world that lacks a name,
this story whose author
keeps nodding
and every time he falls asleep
all the known rivers
swell their banks,
slough off their names,
murmuring of unexplored headwaters. . .